Storytime, not sleepytime.

Like everyone else in the western world, I had this read to me at least once a week for at least three or four years of my childhood, and it was awesome and I have loads of nostalgic fuzziness about it:

Years went by and for a variety of reasons I have turned out the way I have (dirtbag), and obviously it is no coincidence (am I blaming Goodnight Moon? Sort of?), because look at what a kindred dirtbag (with double plus genius) has made:

And because Bruce Worden and Clare Cross are not uptight weirdos about the internet and understand that sharing awesome things is smarter, they made the whole book available online, so settle in for story time, loves. (Apologies all around for the crappy formatting, but if I make the photos smaller the text is too hard to read. It just hast to be this way. Ok. Snuggle in and let's begin.)

(when you hear this sound you will know it is time to turn the page)

(This actually for real looks like the jamspace that The Skinny used to share with Whitey Houston and some other bands. Fucking putrid. I am amazed we didn't all contract cholera).

 (Don't fall asleep yet, little skid.)

Wasn't that nice?

Now dream nice dreams of delightful things like rose margaritas, curious forest friends and hot ladies in their thirties that front metal bands because that is an awesome thing to do:

 

Also please give me this:

(From http://www.morninggloryjewelry.com/necklaces-signed-c-22.html. Ignore the embarrassingly bad website, please. I want every single thing they are selling.)

In less gloriously sparkly news, my awful neighbours kept me up all night again. I am trying hard not to ACTUALLY wish they would die, because I am not certain where I stand on the dubious science of controlling events with willpower, but fuck man... I at least wish that their shouting mouths would be skin-welded shut between the hours of midnight and 6 AM and that they would learn how to work their fucking alarm clock so that it doesn't go off at 4:45 AM and continue to do so through the night. Impotent rage. Does anyone know any good curses? I will do a blog on curses soon, I think.   I try not to be a dreadful human, but it gets tough when your sleep is robbed by people who are failing at loving each other and react by staying up all night howling hate sounds at each other in what I think is Cantonese, smashing each others' belongings against the other side of our bedroom wall while The Mister and I lay victim with big eyes and feel lots of things and wish for our sleep back. 

 

Har. See what I did there?

Two of my ultra babely and talented Berlin friends have started this to show all of us the things they do that we should pay attention to because they are awesome:

http://heartandartlove.tumblr.com/

I tried really hard to find a rose margarita because it seems like rose would be tasty with tequila, but apparently it doesn't exist and the closest thing I could find was something called a Brown Eye (!!!) and it sounded disgusting so here is a super girly rose martini recipe that I found. I'm about due for a lady party at my house so maybe we can whip some of these up and sashay about.

• 1 1/2 oz. vodka
• 1 oz. white crème de cacao
• 1/4 oz. rosewater
• small pieces of Turkish delight or rose petals to garnish
• 1 drop rose food color

Bye!
xo