So now the influx of favourite holiday pals is over and I can't afford to drink another drop and I can't fit into my pants and it's time to start making big plans for the spring. I refuse to make resolutions, as a direct result of years of working with Kathy-type office ladies who all annually turn over a New Year New You leaf that inevitably shrivels up and dies by mid-February and they are back in elastic waist business casual, eating mexi-fries for lunch and driving 4 blocks to the grocery store. Those are my associations, so resolutions are OUT. (My annual pledge to try to be less of a dick doesn't count.)
(Allen recently reminded me of this awesome jam, which I haven't heard in a while. So good. Thanks bud! The Swedes know our winter feelings.)
I DO however, anticipate the relentless cold dark soul-death of February and March and I figure I'd better take a run at a couple of things before we all basically give up on living until the sun comes back. Seems like lots of other people are there too. The last few ventures out into public society have been weird, people seem all squirrelly and cagey, talking exclusively in the future tense. Or maybe I'm just projecting. I don't know. What I do know is that right now I am sitting on a mountain of directionless ambition and I need to find something to do with it before it gets buried in a snow drift. Time to take care of some business before the ants in my pants start biting me in the ass.
Re: Taking Care of Business, I require one of these, available at Elvis Jewellery Direct:
I am basically 100% certain that it will help with all attempts at getting awesome, so feel free to get it for me. I gotta admit, my love for The King has waned a bit since doing multiple burlesque Elvis tributes, but that TCB logo remains the most badass thing of all time.
The problem is that it is so easy to sit and spout off ideas forever and ever and make up a bazillion huge plans and to switch directions with the wind and to burn with the desire to do it all but to spend all your time burning and none of your time committing to something and putting your ass on the line and actually GOING for it. Remember the book I was going to write? (That sounds so embarrassing now that it is not MY NEW GENIUS PLAN!) Or the Master's degree I have been putting off since 2008? The 19000 different cute blog ideas I came up with and then promptly forgot about? Or the venue I wanted to start? The 19 bands that I have started in theory with so many people but never made it to the first rehearsal? Or the burlesque production company? Or the zillion super cute businesses I dreamed up and never made? It's FUN doing that part. I fucking live for that process. But now I am old and haven't done anything but dream, and that feels bad.
I don't know if I even have anything else to say about that. Like I said, meaningless resolutions are stupid. We can all want to be better with all our might, but it's pretty worthless. I have no idea how or where or what to start. Maybe I have more in common with the office Kathys than I can admit. It doesn't take much to get me to abandon an idea, no matter how much I love it at first. I guess rather than a resolution, I am taking the (totally arbitrary) clean-slate feeling of January and using it to get my inert ass moving toward a goal. For REAL this time. I MEAN it. No more fucking around. Seriously. Let's get risky.
Another thing I'm ticking off my list is some reno's to the love nest. I have been calling it the beige palace since I moved in because everything about it, literally, metaphorically, spiritually etc., is 100% totally beige. Prior to my roommates into life mates transition with the Mister, my colour scheme was always red, turquoise and as much shiny gold as possible, so you can understand what a struggle it has been. Trying to do renovations has really revealed how averse to commitment I am. Picking a paint colour I wanted to look at for the next 3 or 4 years was like deciding on having children for me. Jesus. Anyway, I need assloads of help, and I would like to throw my grown up dollars around the best way that I can, so I'd appreciate suggestions on awesome local makers and vendors. Don't say 29 Armstrong.
Sorry, I am out of practice, the next post will be better.
Look at these beautiful things:
Dalton M Ghetti carves pencil lead into delicate magic. (The alphabet and the mailbox in particular set my heart fluttering.)
Also I MUST HAVE THIS BAG (so cosmic, so awesome!!) - made by talent monster Veekee Weekee:
You can buy it for me from her Etsy shop.
It seems like the end of 2011 involved taking a lot of people and organizations to task for things. Getting fighty with lazy local journalists for bad writing, getting mad at the government, getting mad at limp activist movements who were ineffective at getting mad at the government, telling off radio stations for pretending their 1970s-style glossy sexism isn't totally fucking offensive, defending intellectual property (my most hated thing to talk about!) and various other boundaries, being so painfully out of the loop (WHAT THE FUCK IS A SKYRIM???) getting called out on various mistakes and bad behaviour while I push against my life and see how stretchy it is...
It seems like it got kind of aggressive. Or again, maybe I am just projecting and it was me that was being aggressive. Anyway, obviously a couple months of deepfreeze is just in time this year. Cold is better for contemplating than yelling. There are things that need to be figured out, and we may as well stay home and do it when the weather outside is trying to kill us.
Also I suddenly can't stop reading. This is my current to-read list:
While we're at it:
Get out a big mug that feels nice in your hands. Pour 2 oz. of bourbon whiskey into it. The good kind. Squeeze in the juice of 2 lemon slices. Add a tablespoon (ish?) of honey, the flowerier the better. Chuck in a couple of cloves or a slice of ginger. Fill the mug the rest of the way with hot water, stirring while you pour. Get into a soft cozy spot, preferably with a pet or a love interest, but that's up to you. See you in the spring.
I DO however, anticipate the relentless cold dark soul-death of February and March and I figure I'd better take a run at a couple of things before we all basically give up on living until the sun comes back. Seems like lots of other people are there too. The last few ventures out into public society have been weird, people seem all squirrelly and cagey, talking exclusively in the future tense. Or maybe I'm just projecting. I don't know. What I do know is that right now I am sitting on a mountain of directionless ambition and I need to find something to do with it before it gets buried in a snow drift. Time to take care of some business before the ants in my pants start biting me in the ass.
Re: Taking Care of Business, I require one of these, available at Elvis Jewellery Direct:
The problem is that it is so easy to sit and spout off ideas forever and ever and make up a bazillion huge plans and to switch directions with the wind and to burn with the desire to do it all but to spend all your time burning and none of your time committing to something and putting your ass on the line and actually GOING for it. Remember the book I was going to write? (That sounds so embarrassing now that it is not MY NEW GENIUS PLAN!) Or the Master's degree I have been putting off since 2008? The 19000 different cute blog ideas I came up with and then promptly forgot about? Or the venue I wanted to start? The 19 bands that I have started in theory with so many people but never made it to the first rehearsal? Or the burlesque production company? Or the zillion super cute businesses I dreamed up and never made? It's FUN doing that part. I fucking live for that process. But now I am old and haven't done anything but dream, and that feels bad.
I don't know if I even have anything else to say about that. Like I said, meaningless resolutions are stupid. We can all want to be better with all our might, but it's pretty worthless. I have no idea how or where or what to start. Maybe I have more in common with the office Kathys than I can admit. It doesn't take much to get me to abandon an idea, no matter how much I love it at first. I guess rather than a resolution, I am taking the (totally arbitrary) clean-slate feeling of January and using it to get my inert ass moving toward a goal. For REAL this time. I MEAN it. No more fucking around. Seriously. Let's get risky.
Another thing I'm ticking off my list is some reno's to the love nest. I have been calling it the beige palace since I moved in because everything about it, literally, metaphorically, spiritually etc., is 100% totally beige. Prior to my roommates into life mates transition with the Mister, my colour scheme was always red, turquoise and as much shiny gold as possible, so you can understand what a struggle it has been. Trying to do renovations has really revealed how averse to commitment I am. Picking a paint colour I wanted to look at for the next 3 or 4 years was like deciding on having children for me. Jesus. Anyway, I need assloads of help, and I would like to throw my grown up dollars around the best way that I can, so I'd appreciate suggestions on awesome local makers and vendors. Don't say 29 Armstrong.
Sorry, I am out of practice, the next post will be better.
Look at these beautiful things:
Dalton M Ghetti carves pencil lead into delicate magic. (The alphabet and the mailbox in particular set my heart fluttering.)
Also I MUST HAVE THIS BAG (so cosmic, so awesome!!) - made by talent monster Veekee Weekee:
It seems like the end of 2011 involved taking a lot of people and organizations to task for things. Getting fighty with lazy local journalists for bad writing, getting mad at the government, getting mad at limp activist movements who were ineffective at getting mad at the government, telling off radio stations for pretending their 1970s-style glossy sexism isn't totally fucking offensive, defending intellectual property (my most hated thing to talk about!) and various other boundaries, being so painfully out of the loop (WHAT THE FUCK IS A SKYRIM???) getting called out on various mistakes and bad behaviour while I push against my life and see how stretchy it is...
It seems like it got kind of aggressive. Or again, maybe I am just projecting and it was me that was being aggressive. Anyway, obviously a couple months of deepfreeze is just in time this year. Cold is better for contemplating than yelling. There are things that need to be figured out, and we may as well stay home and do it when the weather outside is trying to kill us.
Also I suddenly can't stop reading. This is my current to-read list:
(This has also made me want to read the work of a few of the philosophers featured. Kwame Anthony Appiah, Martha Nussbaum and Slavoj Zizek most especially (pretend the following video is in these brackets).
and last but not least, for a few nerd points:
While we're at it:
Get out a big mug that feels nice in your hands. Pour 2 oz. of bourbon whiskey into it. The good kind. Squeeze in the juice of 2 lemon slices. Add a tablespoon (ish?) of honey, the flowerier the better. Chuck in a couple of cloves or a slice of ginger. Fill the mug the rest of the way with hot water, stirring while you pour. Get into a soft cozy spot, preferably with a pet or a love interest, but that's up to you. See you in the spring.
Adore!
ReplyDeleteAlso: Wallpaper!