What? Sorry, wait... What?

Hello.

Are you still there?

I forgot about my blog because I was busy curled up in a ball under a snowbank snuggling my dog who so handsome and great, that I can forgive him for even this:

Luckily he has a taste for the cheap cotton ones and leaves my "occasion" undies alone.

So, I guess I am not going to really bother trying to catch up or explain why I just didn't post for 5 months.  Sort of.  I don't know.  I don't really think there is any sort of blogger protocol when you have fewer than 10 followers and even those are only following because they are nice friends, right?  And even if there is, I am not much for protocol.

I am, however, all for big plans.  I am basically counting down the seconds until the Burlesque Hall of Fame Weekend in Las Vegas.  This will be my third trip down for BHoF and I am extra excited about this one, since we are travelling in smaller packs this year and all the bump 'n' grind 'n' glitter won't be overwhelmed with proximity politics. 

Jo Boobs Weldon, my absolute burlesque Superhero:

                                       

I met her last year and was such a starstuck idiot that I TOTALLY humiliated myself.  Wah...  She has a book called The Burlesque Handbook, and I highly recommend that everyone read it.  Seriously.  She is a tough and smart lady, and even if you are not interested in doing or watching burlesque, she  doles out sage advice wrapped in rowdy anecdotes, sprinkled with cautionary tales, that are well worth the read.



Legends night!  Gahd!  I get rhinestone fever even thinking about it.  Watching burlesque pioneers who are still doing it, still making us titter and blush and howl, makes me so proud to do what we do.  Watching the dancers in the audience just utterly fucking lose composure because they are so overwhelmed with reverence, it is a pretty powerful thing to witness.  I hope that, when I am in my seventies, I still got it the way these ladies still got it.  SassaFRASS.  Here's Satan's Angel, maniac that she is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-XGl7L4KMo  Total respect.

In honour of the upcoming Burlesque Hall of Fame, please check out this Victory Roll updo tutorial from Harriett, via the Bright Young Twins blog maintained by the cutest and fanciest ladies in London. (heart)  Happy pinning, ladies!  (My apologies if you, like me, end up throwing your hairbrush across the room in frustration at least 4 times whenever a Victory Roll is required of you.  Best of luck, truly).

Anyway.

Also I feel like I spent the winter with my head up my classic rock ass and I don't even know what music things are happening right now.  The Group Sound totally killed it the other night at the Michael Rault show.  I keep hearing good things about The Depression, who I have not yet checked out for reasons obvious to those who know me, which I am working very hard to get over because it is nicer when we all get along.  They are playing on April 15th with The Sorels at the Artery (The Sorels ft. Tim Gilbertson, who I totally love and you should too: http://www.myspace.com/killbertson) so I guess I will see them there.  Thank god there's some new movement in Edmonton, I was getting really nervous that I'd be listening to the same Whitey Houston record over and over for the rest of my life.

What else.  Oh yeah, I guess I always post a recipe, don't I?  Well, I don't really feel like it, but I will give you this advice.  Buy some smoked Paprika.  Seriously.  I used to think that Paprika was a decorative spice used by 50s house wives to make their hard-boiled eggs look fancier, but it turns out that SMOKED Paprika is the best fucking seasoning the world has ever known and it will make anything you cook with it the new best thing you have ever made.  I am not kidding.  I can't say enough good things.  I got mine here: http://www.epicureselections.com/en/ because our favorite Amy Van Keeken is a sales rep for them, but I betcha you can probably find it in other non-shitty food stores also. 

In parting, please look at this surprisingly soothing website (thanks, Bakker): http://thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com/

Coming soon: more pasties, a rant about band dudes, my Spring 2011 want (list vol 1), updated list of drummers I would love to nail and more hot cooking tips of similar quality to the one above.

Love,
Your pal Amelia