Enough, now.

Since mother nature is being such a bitch about it, I am now going to use the following songs to call back the sun:

(Sorry, last guy is pretty NSFW. I guess I should have said that earlier.) I think we covered a lot of bases there. Is it back yet? I can't tell because I am sitting in a fucking cubicle.

But not for looooonnnnngggggg.....

Here are two things I get to go to while I am away. First, this amazing looking 1940s dress up party in London with Harriett and Aimee: http://www.theblitzparty.com/ (PS, look at how hot that promo is. We need to sex up our events like that!) (Also, AS IF I OWN A DRESS FOR THAT. I am going to have to shop.)

Then, the next weekend in Berlin I get to go see these maniacs with Beau and Wil:

Needless to say I have packed the weirdest range of outfits for this trip.

I think Dorgz is a little unsure about the metal show. I love this band though, and this show will rule to the max. 

Most of us (I am looking at you, grumps and saddies mentioned in last post) probably need this Moleskine (from Etsy user Julien Denoyer):

Why try to keep the list straight in your head? And here I thought Moleskines were only for emoting coffeeshop poets...

For this post's recipe I have chosen....

PAPIER MACHE!

That's right. Enough eating, fatty. Make me a motherfucking Pinata. Dink or dragon shaped, preferably, but I encourage creativity.

To make this paper mache paste, mix together 1 part flour to 2 parts water. You will want it to be the consistency of thick glue, but you also want it to be runny and not thick like paste. Add more water or flour as necessary. Mix well to remove any lumps.

A few helpful tips I have read in regards to using this paste are:

• If you live in an area with high humidity, add a few tablespoons of salt to help prevent mold.
• If you don't like the smell of the glue mixture you can add a few sprinkles of cinnamon to sweeten it up!

You should be able to store this glue in a covered bowl or jar, in the refrigerator, for a few days

That's all!
xo!

Hi everyone.

You are all telling me about how shitty your days and lives are today. I'm sorry you feel your troubles so much today, friends. I also almost had to put my fist through a computer monitor earlier this afternoon, but then decided instead to go impulse shopping for expensive department store cosmetics. It worked. I feel better and my hand and screen remain intact. I am pretty sure it is the crappy weather. It seems like we should be entitled to something nicer. But we are not entitled to anything. Just remember that. We are the ones who decided to live in this place.

Here. This might help. This and some whiskey:

Flying off on my European dream vacation in two sleeps. I don't know how this is going to work, exactly. I am broke as a joke and there will be THREE WEEKS of fun to be had. I guess I'll do what I always do which is max all available credit and let future Amelia deal with it.

Off to London first to hang out with these adorable little dolls: http://brightyoungtwins.blogspot.com/ as well as everyone's favorite Travis Sargeant. It will be like I am their pet troll for a week. Can you believe that humans that cute exist? Mind boggling. I think I am going to try to see some tourist-y things this time. Aside from going on the London Eye with Doug at sunset last year (pretty swoony, I gotta say) I mostly just went to markets and pubs last year. Also, I am DETERMINED to see some hot Euro burlesque this time. DETERMINED.

This is Immodesty Blaize, one of my favorite ever London burlesque dancers, and winner of the Miss Exotic World pageant (that thing that the CCB ladies go to Vegas for every year) in 2007. Stone cold fox:

Then Berlin to see Anna, who I miss so much every day and it seems like things are just shittier when she isn't around. She and her hubby Beau, who is also basically the greatest human ever, are kind enough to let me and Dorg crash for WEEKS. I can't wait to meet Berlin. From all accounts, I should start preparing myself for the possibility that I will never come home.

I would miss my dog and Dorg too much, obviously.

Gahd. Anyway. Sorry to be gross.

What else? Oh yeah. GIVE ME THIS:

I am so bad at blogging. I always run out of feeling like it so fast.

I don't even feel like posting a recipe. Eat fruit. It's summer. Make it into Sangria, why don't you?

Hey, there we go. Here's a sangria recipe for you:

• 2 gallons Zinfandel
• 1 cup brandy
• 1/2 cup Cointreau
• 2 quarts orange juice
• 2 cups lemon juice
• 1 cup superfine sugar
• 12 to 16 ice cubes
• 2 quarts chilled club soda
• 3 oranges, thinly sliced
• 3 lemons, thinly sliced

Thoroughly chill all ingredients. Pour the wine, brandy and Cointreau into a large punch bowl. Stir orange and lemon juice with the sugar until sugar has dissolved. Then add to bowl and stir to blend. Add ice cubes and soda. Pour into a large metal tub and drink it out of your hands.

I love thinking about wine in gallon amounts. That's how classy broads measure it.

Anyway, I hope everyone feels better soon. I get sad for your hearts when you all get like this all at once.

See you in August, if I ever come back at all.

xo