Hi everyone.

You are all telling me about how shitty your days and lives are today. I'm sorry you feel your troubles so much today, friends. I also almost had to put my fist through a computer monitor earlier this afternoon, but then decided instead to go impulse shopping for expensive department store cosmetics. It worked. I feel better and my hand and screen remain intact. I am pretty sure it is the crappy weather. It seems like we should be entitled to something nicer. But we are not entitled to anything. Just remember that. We are the ones who decided to live in this place.

Here. This might help. This and some whiskey:

Flying off on my European dream vacation in two sleeps. I don't know how this is going to work, exactly. I am broke as a joke and there will be THREE WEEKS of fun to be had. I guess I'll do what I always do which is max all available credit and let future Amelia deal with it.

Off to London first to hang out with these adorable little dolls: http://brightyoungtwins.blogspot.com/ as well as everyone's favorite Travis Sargeant. It will be like I am their pet troll for a week. Can you believe that humans that cute exist? Mind boggling. I think I am going to try to see some tourist-y things this time. Aside from going on the London Eye with Doug at sunset last year (pretty swoony, I gotta say) I mostly just went to markets and pubs last year. Also, I am DETERMINED to see some hot Euro burlesque this time. DETERMINED.

This is Immodesty Blaize, one of my favorite ever London burlesque dancers, and winner of the Miss Exotic World pageant (that thing that the CCB ladies go to Vegas for every year) in 2007. Stone cold fox:

Then Berlin to see Anna, who I miss so much every day and it seems like things are just shittier when she isn't around. She and her hubby Beau, who is also basically the greatest human ever, are kind enough to let me and Dorg crash for WEEKS. I can't wait to meet Berlin. From all accounts, I should start preparing myself for the possibility that I will never come home.

I would miss my dog and Dorg too much, obviously.

Gahd. Anyway. Sorry to be gross.

What else? Oh yeah. GIVE ME THIS:

I am so bad at blogging. I always run out of feeling like it so fast.

I don't even feel like posting a recipe. Eat fruit. It's summer. Make it into Sangria, why don't you?

Hey, there we go. Here's a sangria recipe for you:

• 2 gallons Zinfandel
• 1 cup brandy
• 1/2 cup Cointreau
• 2 quarts orange juice
• 2 cups lemon juice
• 1 cup superfine sugar
• 12 to 16 ice cubes
• 2 quarts chilled club soda
• 3 oranges, thinly sliced
• 3 lemons, thinly sliced

Thoroughly chill all ingredients. Pour the wine, brandy and Cointreau into a large punch bowl. Stir orange and lemon juice with the sugar until sugar has dissolved. Then add to bowl and stir to blend. Add ice cubes and soda. Pour into a large metal tub and drink it out of your hands.

I love thinking about wine in gallon amounts. That's how classy broads measure it.

Anyway, I hope everyone feels better soon. I get sad for your hearts when you all get like this all at once.

See you in August, if I ever come back at all.

xo