Basically

So things do not get much better than they have been going lately.  I am not trying to be funny.

I have not had the greatest times being unemployed, and I am not even sure why.  It seems kind of wasteful, but I spent a lot of time sleeping, I think.  I don't know.  It is all a little hazy, but now that I am a Temporary Secretary (see yesterday's post) and am waiting for a placement to come along, days are getting so fun!

First of all, one of my top five favorite pals of all time asked me to be the

 to her

 (except PLATONIC, of course) when she goes to her sister's wedding in Mexico in the spring!  Yeeeeeeeahhhhh!  Honestly I am not sure how it is legal for the two of us to hang out in our own country, let alone someone else's, but it tis the plan none the less.  I am happy that we both already got our buddy tattoos so we don't drunkenly stagger into a Mexican tattoo parlour and demand to have eachothers' names tattooed on our noses or something.  Barely far fetched, we just have that kind of friendship.

Also I found out that my little sister is getting married in June and have started looking for cute wedding ideas as she seems a bit overwhelmed and I am planning to help out a lot.  It is weird looking at so many wedding blogs.  It is difficult to not get swept up in that bridal mania...  especially when weddings are getting so cute these days!  Look at this....  How am I supposed to avoid wedding fever in the face of this?!?  Poor Mr. 

Anyway, if anyone has any cute ideas, I am looking for some.

Also today, I had my first drum lesson in a zillion months.  This is a video of my second lesson (don't judge, assholes, I am a beginner).  I had a few more after that video and then haven't played since like, mid-January.  So anyway, it was really fun and Mr. and I had a little drum battle because he has two kits set up right now (*swooooon!!!!!!*  Anyone who knows my history with drummers will know how much that makes me drool). 

Also, when we took a break for lunch, Mr. drank his Coke too fast and got belchy and belched the lyrics to this song to me, while we sat IN PUBLIC, eating our lunch.  There are like 350 zillion really good reasons that I am totally crazy about that guy, and burping Lionel as an honest and genuine expression of affection is right up there near the top.  Lionel Ritchie has the weirdest face...

Intensity!!

Coming over to say hello with INTENSITY.

Hey!  I have never gone for Dim Sum before ever in my life.  I have decided this is unacceptable.  I would please like for someone to take me for Dim Sum as soon as possible.  Ok?  Mr. and I had super delish stickyrice in lotus leaves and I realised that if I were the type of person that went for Dim Sum regularly, I would get to eat sticky rice all the time, which would be the best possible scenario, until it came to pants-shopping time.

Anyway, let's go!  Let's do everything!

xo Motorjoan

xo Motorjoan

Times

In light of recent developments, please enjoy this:

Temporary Secretary - Paul McCartney

What a fucking weird phase.

Anyway...  There are so many things going on right now.  Have you noticed that there is an awesome show every single night until like, mid-November?  What a shitty time to be busted ass broke.  If anyone wants to take me as their date for shows, I will be very fun, will accept drinks and will absolutely not put out.  Takers?

New dance shoes!  The CCB ladies all have pro-shod feets now!  We all have matching these (except ours are cute and black and possibly have a one inch higher heel?  They look much hotter on eleven ladies' hot legs, trust me.  Just wait until you see the kick lines we are going to bust out in these...

I decided today that I was going to take a bunch of photos of my sewing projects and post them.  For kicks I also took a photo of how messy my sewing room is (I am in dire need of organizational furniture) and because I am so bad at technology, that was the only photo that survived.

So instead of all my pretty costumes and pannies and accessories and pasties etc, here is a photo of my messy sewing table:

Somewhere in that pile is a bunch of pairs of these cute high-waisted satin panties with ruffles, and also, bottom centre is the dress that I am working on, which is now half done (eeee!).  I am pretty disappointed about losing the other photos, but kind of tickled by the fact that I am the only adult in the world who can't use a fucking iPhone.  I will reshoot the other photos and not delete them by accident this time. 

I am pretty excited to do another shoot with Gravedanger Photography.   

Erin and I have something cooking, and I think it is going to be really great.  May even bust out some original costume pieces for the shoot!  Gravy is super talented and, against all odds, really comfortable to work with.  I highly recommend that anyone jump at the chance to get photos with this dude.

What the fuck?

  I don't know why this text

is all

center

aligned

now. 

I

fucking

hate

technology.

Gravy took this photo.  Not so bad for an old broad, hey?

Okay, that's all.  No soup recipes today.  Mr. is trying to crawl into my earhole because I have been ignoring him in favour of the internet for too long. 

I have dog hair stuck to me in the most unbelievable places!

xo Motorjoan

Polyester Pants on Fire

I am looking for some good burlesque movies for this movie night I am having for the CCB ladies next weekend.  Any ideas?  I got The Night They Raided Minsky's and I got 2 Cyd Cherisse films because I loooooooove her, but I feel like I need one more backup in case those suck.  I welcome suggestions.  I would also be into hearing about any thematically appropriate snack ideas. 

Anyway.  Another crappy cold day, another home made soup recipe.  This one I sort of made up, partly because this other girl that I know talked about making a Moroccan inspired soup using the always gnarly eggplant (it seems exotic!  I have never used it before!)

Anyway, I faked it and it is AWESOME and it is even Vegan again, so I think everyone should make it.  It will be like a spicy Moroccan mustached man is hugging your tummy from the inside!!  Yum! 

First, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Also start thinking of some other things you can be doing while this soup cooks, because it takes a while to get delicious.

Ingredient list:
1 eggplant
1 sweet potato
1 cup (ish) of red lentils
2 cups of stock
2 handfulls of fresh spinach
zest and juice of half a lemon
2 tsp tumeric
a bit of cumin
1/2 tsp of cinnamon
salt
black pepper
red chili flakes
2 tbsp olive oil
1 yellow onion
1 yellow pepper
a couple of carrots
8 cloves garlic


Cut one eggplant (unpeeled) and one sweet potato (peeled) into 1 inch chunks, toss in a tablespoon or two of olive oil, season with salt and pepper and roast for 15-20 minutes.

In a large soup pot, heat a small amount of olive oil.  Add one diced yellow onion and 8 cloves of garlic and cook until translucent.  Add 2 cups of veggie stock, one cup of red lentils (or more, follow your heart on this one, I added lots),   Add roasted eggplant and sweet potato.  Add one tomato, chopped in 1 inch chunks, some coarsely chopped  fresh spinach, 2 chopped carrots, 2 tsp tumeric, a dash of cinnamon, a dash of cumin, some red chili flakes (or just a buttload of black pepper, up to you).  Bring it to a boil for a minute or two and then reduce to a simmer.  Let it bubble for 90 minutes. 

See?  Here is where you need a task.  I designed a dress, and got it cut out and pinned.  I'll post photos when it is done. I think it is going to be pretty cute.  Maybe you could watch this and feel good about life, or you could make some Twilight themed crafts, or start watching the best show in the universe and get super horny for bikers. 

Okay.  So after the soup has simmered for 90 minutes, add the zest and juice of half a lemon and a chopped yellow pepper.  Cook for another 20 minutes and serve it up with some dense awesome bread.  The sweet potato gets all soft and buttery tasting.  This soup rules, I am not ashamed to say it.


Okay, anyway, today started out with 4 grim hours of engaging in the most degrading of all acts...  applying for work.  Gahd.  I sat with this really nice lady trying to keep a straight face while telling her that all my life's dreams and ambitions culminate in a job covering some receptionist's maternity leave.  Yeesh.  I had to dig all my office lady clothes out of storage.  So here we go again, I guess.  Type, type, file file, pencil skirts and paper cuts.

I am still looking for things that will help me pay my mortgage and not make turn my heart into a joyless wasteland.  I doubt I will find it making Excel spreadsheets, but I suppose one never knows.

I really forgot how much applying for jobs involves totally not telling the truth.  I mean, not like, pretending to be an astronaught or whatever, but man, I felt like a real dick when i overstated my Microsoft Office proficiency...  I just hate this whole business.  I would do anything to go back to the days of being a lifer at Blackbyrd... 

I promise this will be the last blog with no photos.  I know they are boring as shit to read when there is nothing to look at.  I'm sorry.  I will do better.  To make up for it, look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ

xo Motorjoan

I Wanna Be Domesticated

A grey, shitty, cold Sunday afternoon:

(again)

So, I know we are freezing and pissed off about this weather. It is Sunday, we are all paying the piper for whatever fun we had yesterday (dear everyone who could afford the Helmet/Bison B.C. show last night, I hope you have whiskeyshits all day, jerks.), desperately snuggling up to our pets, hoping they'll make us feel better instead of just shedding all over our gross Sunday sweatpants.

Dire fucking times, pals. 

To make myself feel better I decided to make cute lunch for my beloved and I and it worked!  Making stuff from scratch seems like an accomplishment, and having it be delicious feels like a triumph and having a warm inside to counteract this BOGUS weather outside seems like I am delivering a well-earned fuck you to mother nature, who's been doing us all so wrong since spring.  So I want to share.  Here are the recipes.  Make good food.  Feel nicer.

Parsnip and Pear Soup

You'll need:
2 lbs of parsnips, ends trimmed, peeled
1 medium red onion, peeled & quartered
2 cloves of garlic, whole & unpeeled
salt and pepper (go easy on the salt in this one, trust me)
1-2 Tbsp olive oil
1 large or 2 medium pears, peeled and cubed
2 cups of low sodium stock
1-2 Tbsp minced fresh thyme or parsley
(The original recipe said there is an option to add 1/4 cup of heavy cream, but it is super good without it, and also happens to be Vegan without it if you care about that, so I say SKIP IT.)
Also, this is not in the recipe, but I added a little sploosh of white wine and it was totally awesome, so I recommend splooshing some white wine if you have any around.

Okay, here is what you do:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees (F).  Place parsnips, onion and garlic on a rimmed baking sheet; season with salt & pepper & olive oil.  Toss to coat.

Roast for 30-40 minutes or until vegetables are lightly browned.  Remove pan from oven.  Set aside for 10 minutes.  Cut parsnips into chunks and put into a pot with onion, peeled garlic, pear & stock.  Bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to simmer, and cook uncovered until pear is tender (5 minutes-ish).  Add herbs, cook 5 minutes more.  Use immersion blender to puree.  Add salt & pepper.  Serve hot.

---------------------------

Okay let's take a break to watch this awesome video and listen to this awesome band, ok?  Be careful, I have not yet determined if the video is trying to convince me to join a cult or not....  The band is so great though!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfcHq0hhFWg&feature=channel

Right?  So awesome. 


I really should learn how to embed videos.  Add it to the list, grandma.
So.  I was going to type out another recipe, but I don't really feel like it anymore.  Make biscuits that have something delicious baked into the middle.  You can do it.  The internet can help you, but not this internet, because I am bored with that now.

What else....?

Oh, I have been making fancy undies, sleep accessories, robes, costumes, pasties, etc in anticipation of this winter's Royal Bison, and also in the hopes that someday I will get my shit scraped together and get my Etsy page running.  I am really excited about some of the stuff that has come out of this endeavour, and I hope some other people will be too.  Otherwise I have 250 pairs of ruffly underwear on my hands.  Feck.  Photos soon.  In the mean time, look at these things:

You know that library smell that is THE GREATEST?  Some genius bottled it.  Seriously.  I hope they make a plug-in air scenter thing.

Dear anyone who likes me and wishes for my happiness.  Give me everything Gisele Ganne has ever made.  Thank you.

Skulls.  I can't get enough of them.  Check this guy out.

So that's that for now, I think.

Also I have this new blog now.

xo
Motorjoan.